Heidi Yewman, State President of Million Mom March in the state of Washington, has recently published an outstanding book, Beyond the Bullet, on the victims of gun violence. This book is a must-read. It tells the stories of 18 victims and survivors in their own voices. It gets us past the horrifying statistics on gun injury and death in America and lets us share in the human pain of gun violence.
I was fortunate to be able to interview Heidi about her book. Here is what I learned from her.
Q. How and why did you personally get into the gun control movement?
A. I graduated from Columbine High School 13 years before the 1999 massacre. Dave Sanders, the sole teacher that died in the massacre was my basketball coach and typing teacher at Columbine. As I sat at his funeral I decided I needed to do something, be a part of the solution. I vowed to myself that I would get involved. A year later I was walking among thousands at the Million Mom March in Washington DC. I have been a part of the movement ever since.
Q. What made you decide to do your book?
A. It started at the march. I was overwhelmed by all the people wearing t-shirts and holding signs that had a picture of their loved one along with the birth and death date. It was like they were screaming, "This person mattered and was loved!" I wanted to know the the story behind the poster and shirt. I wanted to know how you get up the next day, and the next day and the next day. I wanted to know the story behind the death and how it impacted them emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Q. What did you learn from writing your book?
A. I learned that people grieve in different ways and in different time frames. I learned that gun violence is unnecessary and treating these deaths as just part of living in America is insulting to all involved. I was surprised by the lack of empathy shown by those who only look at statistics to justify pushing week gun laws. I have heard NRA members say that it doesn't matter when a gang member dies or that suicide statistics should not be included in gun violence statistics because the person didn't want to live anyway.
Q. What are the main messages of your book?
A. The message of the book is that the lives of those killed by gun violence do matter. I want the reader to see that the mother of the gang member killed morns just as much as the mother of the honor roll student that was unintentionally killed. Suicide by gun is preventable and those whose lives were lost can not be discounted because "they didn't want to live anyway." My hope is that the reader will more deeply understand the real loss from gun violence as told by those who experience that loss everyday.
Q. What are the greatest needs of victims and survivors?
A. Because grief is experienced in different ways there is no one need. What I heard over and over, though is that victims and survivors want to be heard. They want the life of their loved one to matter and they don't want their grief and loss to be minimized by cruel and unnecessary comments. One woman I interviewed whose son died from suicide said that people assumed her son was on drugs because they had sons the same age and didn't want to think that what happed to her could happen to them. She said it was hurtful and put her have to defend her son instead of just morn his death.
Thank you, Heidi, for adding so much to our efforts to reduce gun violence both through this book and all the other work you do.